Hector and his family...

I decided it was a good time to start writing about my life as a Support Agent this morning.

So, I'm driving into Fellowship Technologies offices this morning again at around 6:20am so that I can get there by 6:30 to spend some time focusing on the day, prioritizing and getting organized. I'm listening to one of my favorite pastors, Mark Driscoll, through a Mars Hill podcast. He's teaching about Christians submitting to the authority. It's good. Real good. I'm thinking about my life and how I can carry this teaching out. I'm thinking about my kids and how I can exemplify this basic truth for them as they get older.

I'm almost to the office when I pull up on a slow down in the traffic ahead. I look and there's a truck on the shoulder with it's hazard lights on and cars driving on by. I see this and look at the clock - I really don't have time to get involved. I decide to prioritize on helping; supporting the person in this situation. It wasn't his fault that this was happening. I pull over and put my hazards on. I get out and meet a man who's name is Hector. I ask if there's anything I can do and he says a few words and I switch to Spanish to continue to talk to him. Turns out he was on his way to work, but had to drop his wife, daughter and mother or mother-in-law off to work before 7am and didn't have a jack to fix the flat tire. Hector told me that he had called a friend who was coming to help, but asked if I wouldn't mind giving his family a ride to work. So, all three ladies pile into my little pod of a car and we take off. Turns out that their work was not to far up the road. On the way I told them that I love Jesus and that doing this is what He would have done. I dropped them off with little more said.

As I was driving away I remembered the verse that Jesus says, "whatever you do to the least of these, you've also done to me..." I thought about how we get so busy sometimes in our daily grind that we sometimes miss the opportunities right in front of our faces to support each other; to be the hands and feet of Jesus - however brief it might be.

As cheesy as it might be, the movie Pay it Forward comes into perspective on things like this. What a movie illustrating this whole principal of doing what we need to do for others; supporting the person that didn't expect to run into this inconvenience. No one sets out in the morning to get a flat tire. No one sets out to not have enough food to eat that day. No church worker sets out expecting to have an issue that they can't work through. No fireman really understands the complexity of the day he/she is getting ready to have. We all need support. We all need help. Some of us are more likely to stop the days chaos than others and sometimes the desire to stop and help gets overlooked by other responsibilities and that's fine. The difference is if we're able to put into perspective again and again, every day as people who love the God that went out of His way to offer restoration to us, what...we're...about!

I'm a Support Agent for Fellowship Technologies. My life is full of ministry to those who minister to people in churches all across the world. I help church workers in churches in England, Florida, North Carolina, New Mexico, Ecuador and on. I come in every day ready for the challenge. I don't know in what ways the person on the other side of an email or phone call is going to need help. I do know that I owe it to the lady in Massachusetts to know how to help her post attendance to the activity that won't show up in her drop down menu. Even though I don't know necessarily what kind of help those who need me are going to need. I don't need to know.

I am FellowshipOne. (I know it's cheesy, but it's catchy :) )

the things I'm learning....

I know it's been a long time since I've blogged, but...as I rolled into work this morning the longing to put my thoughts on "paper" ate at me too large and I could resist anymore.

There's soo much going on right now, it's insane. I come to work every single day and do the same thing over and over and over again. It sometimes feels like the movie Groundhog Day. Then, I go home and get to hangout with my family at least some. Then there's the ever present list of things to do.

But in all of this, I'm learning soo much. This time in my life is unlike any other time. I've never really learned this much at once. Not in High School or in College. No course teach me what I'm learning. No one time class could convey the things that I'm soaking up. It's in the starring at the keyboard, it's in the quiet meditation on the way in to work, it's in the determined practice of commiting Scripture to my mind - that I know why I'm in this season.

Here lately, I've learned more about myself. I do have to say that I wish we would know these things immediately as we graduate from college if not before. The process of "learning about myself" isn't fun. It's not a highlight. It really is a pain. Why? Because it seems that the older I get, the wiser I should become. The reality, I'm finding is that I keep coming back to things I thought I already learned.

For instance, I thought I already learned about "understanding" another person's perspective. I thought I was good at it, until recently. I'm seeing that I really do have high expectations on other people and if those aren't fulfilled, then...I get bent out of shape. This happens primarily out of a non-understanding where that person is coming from. At work, at home, at church, in friendships, in co-worker relationships...it's all affected by this notion.

John Maxwell says, "Half of all the controversies & conflicts that arise among people are caused not by differences of opinion or an inability to agree, but by their lack of understanding for one another."

Today, I'll keep Job 8:10 in mind and trust that God is using my experiences to carve out a heart that is after God's own - "Will they not instruct you and tell you? Will they not bring forth words from their understanding?"

you'll come...

So, this morning I come into work and I'm faced with a choice. Do I affect this place or it let it affect me? The little routines and steps we all move through become expected - with nothing to look forward to if not careful. That's not what I'm about. I'm in love with a God who is ALL to me and I understand my role as a man where I am. It's not to co-exist with my environment, but it's to change it. It's not like I do this just for change sake...but because as I finally stop and think about it enough, I see that it needs to be changed.

The change within comes first. It has to. Without me allowing Christ to come and examine me I'm out. Like a kid getting taken out by getting slammed in the face in Dodge-ball. I have to allow Him to take inventory of my issues (lack of trust in people, my tendency to be critical & negative, my inability to ask for help when I need to, my expectations being too high, et...frappin cetera) so that I can be who I need to be. Which me being who I need to be (the leader I know God has gifted me to be) results in seeking that which is broken and inspiring it to change...to be more effective.

God's I know that You'll come for me today. I ask You to come today. Come into my reactions, my responses, my leadership, my wantings, my compassion. Come be in me. God help me to trust You today. Help me to not trust in my own efforts. I just want to position my heart before You, God, ready to receive the transformation that You bring. Change Me God, from the inside out, change me. Help me to be a team-player, but to step out and address the injustices and affect my coworkers, my family, myself, my friends towards more...

SELAH...

seriously, I need it. without it, I'm ruined. This high-powered world keeps going and going with no end in sight. If I don't intentionally make this PAUSE happen, my perspective gets out of whack. My eyes start to wonder. My mind plays the What if game. God becomes smaller again and I become bigger.

In my own eyes this is not wrong. After all who really thinks that getting more stuff, being like the world, doing what we want to do is bad. Without this pause regular pause in my life - my life becomes my life again. I start to do the things that I don't want to do; the things that ruin me; the things that are easy. To lead myself in this direction, towards the things of God again, is a management issue. It doesn't take any work at all to let selfishness reign and my old man to come out again and again. It does take discipline to identify the areas that I'm tempted in; where I've been slain and decide to go in the opposite direction.

For You Lord, I'll do it. I'll sacrifice myself on the alter again. I lay down and rest; pause to know the victory that comes with self-denial. You are the Lord, I'm your beloved. I need/want more of You and less of me. I will have it no other way.

I choose today to pause,

all for You...

God - I give you my heart again this week. I pray that You would help me to lead myself well this week. I ask that You would make me ready for the challenges that are coming my way that I don't even know about yet. Let me see the distractions (things that pull me away from my love for You) - not only see them, but identify them as such and move away from them and closer to You. I pray for my marriage that You would be all in it. I ask that You would give me Your wisdom in being a parent, that I might display a loving want for more of You to my daughter and son. Please give me Your wisdom as I attempt to make the decisions that You would have me make. Seriously, I don't want to make decisions without You. Be in my everyday decisions, Lord. What I listen to, what I talk abotu, what I think about, what my motives are, what my responses/reactions are, what I do, what I say...be in ALL of it.

I'm Yours, use me in the place that I'm at.

every hour I need Him...

what is this thing that is happening to me? I don't know. More than ever I have this longing to know what His will is for my life. I question it all the time. I hate what I do. I can't stand this experience. The lack of understanding, training, support, cooperation is killing me. I'm pulling out. This can't be it. Is this what You have for me, God? Are we on the same page You and I? I hear You say that this is for a season, and I get that. But it doesn't make sense to feel trapped and hopeless every...single...day.

Or does it? I mean look at the Bible. I bet Daniel felt hopeless and trapped. I bet Joseph even after standing for righteousness, felt hopeless and trapped. I mean I'm not moving from this until i hear or see You say otherwise. I'm just questioning WHAT You're wanting to show me/ teach me.

Give me You today and strip me away!!!!!!!!!!!

the drawbridge keeper...

John Griffeth lived in the western part of the United States [Oklahoma, according to some versions] during the depression years of dustbowls, dryness and drought. Married in 1929, the Griffeths watched their farming dreams blow into dust. Finally, they gathered their little son with their meager belongings and moved east.

There John landed a job at the Mississippi River tending a drawbridge. One summer day [April 5 in one version] in 1937, he took his son to spend the day with him. Wide-eyed and full of questions, Greg watched his father as he raised the bridge to let the ships pass, then lowered it for the great trains to roar across the river.

About noon, John put up the bridge and sat with Greg on an observation platform to eat their lunches. They enjoyed the activity on the waterfront. John dreamed about traveling so he told Greg stories about the ships and where they were headed. He was so caught up in the stories that he lost consciousness of time. Suddenly he was awakened by the shrill whistle of a locomotive. He glanced at his watch, noting that it was nearly time for the Memphis Express.

John made his way to the gear-room, sat on the stool and took the lever in hand. He looked up the river and back down to see if any ships were coming. Then he glanced below ... Wait! No! No! This can't be! Terror gripped him as his heart leaped into his throat and his blood froze in his veins! Evidently, Greg tried to follow his father, slipped off the catwalk and fell into the massive gears below. His leg was caught and as sure as the sun rises in the morning, if the bridge was lowered six tons of revolving metal would grind him to death!

Mind spinning, John frantically sought for answers! He thought, "I'll run back, tie a rope, let myself down..." -- but, no! There was not a third of the needed time.

John moaned! He was trembling and perspiring as his eyes brimmed with tears. The shrill cry of the train whistle was alarmingly close. More than anything, he wanted to spare his son; but if he did many would die! There was no other way to spare their lives! Stricken and overwhelmed with grief, John bowed his quivering head, covered his eyes, and released the lever. The gear room shook as the wheels turned and the great bridge settled down into place. In moments it was over and the Memphis Express came roaring past.

John lifted his head and looked in the train. There a man read the morning news, the conductor was looking at his watch, and a woman in the dining car was feeding her little girl with a long spoon. No one noticed the heart-broken Griffeth. No one was aware of the grieving father or the newly torn body of his dear son. Choking with passion John called out, "What's the matter with you people? I just GAVE MY SON for you! Don't you even care?" Nobody heard; nobody looked; nobody knew and no one responded as the train disappeared across the river.

The heavenly Father watches our own eternity-bound generation as we speed down the rails of life. Without Jesus we too are hopeless and headed for destruction. Our sovereign God "sent his only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through him" (1 John 4:9). What an amazing sacrifice as God "spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all" (Rom. 8:32).